


Prince of Hoping to Win This Rap Battle; Page of About to Run Out of Breath

by rezi



Series: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HOMESTUCK [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, rap battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2013-05-19
Packaged: 2017-12-12 08:10:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/809300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rezi/pseuds/rezi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And now for the second installment in our THRILLING SAGA. As requested by Bloo: "Eridan vs Tavros"</p><p>WHO WON?<br/>WHO'S NEXT?</p><p>Same as last time: requests in the comments, please!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prince of Hoping to Win This Rap Battle; Page of About to Run Out of Breath

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bloo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloo/gifts).



ERIDAN AMPORA  
VS  
TAVROS NITRAM  
BEGIN!

prince a hope here to say wwhats wwhat  
wwhos the hottest shit and wwhos really not  
sorry to say tavv but just lend me your ear  
its pretty fuckin certain youll be losin here  
you literally spent half our game asleep  
i wwas KICKIN ASS wwhile you wwere countin sheep  
prospits the planet for the lamest jerks  
from derse you get the guys wwho knoww howw shit wworks  
as the wwhite carapaces wwere pamperin you all day  
i wwas gettin shit DONE on L-O-WW-AA  
you could talk to your consorts  
wwhich is wwimpy for sure  
i had to slaughter mine  
tooth and claww  
wwhile i massacred angels in hopeful glory  
you wwere easily the most boring one in our story  
youre the shittiest player on both of our teams  
and dont expect support from your "self-esteems"  
your "rufio" is the fakest fake  
hes NOT REAL tavvros for fucks sake  
even faker than the magic i dont use in my wwand  
so wwithout him there  
you may as wwell abscond  
just quit it rust blood  
its ovver  
youre through  
the prince of hope knowws that theres no hope for you  
dont fuck wwith the vvioletblood  
wwhen your color looks like mud  
so givve it up nitram  
and "rufio" too

yOU CAN MOCK MY BROWN BLOOD, bUT ONE THING WON'T GO,,,  
yOU NEVER PICK ON RUFIO,  
hE'S MY SELF-ESTEEM, mAKES ME FEEL STRONG,  
aND WHEN HE'S ON MY SIDE, i CAN PROVE YOU WRONG,  
fAKE HE MAY BE, bUT I BELIEVE IN HIM,,,  
aND THAT MAKES HIS FAKENESS START TO DIM,  
tHE CONFIDENCE I GET SHINES THROUGH,  
aND, i THINK, i CAN BEAT YOU  
uH, i HOPE

tavv thats the most bullshit i evver heard  
dont talk about hope  
you hardly knoww that wword  
your confident claims are fuckin absurd  
you shuttin up wwould be preferred  
id kill you right noww  
and feel no remorse  
shoot you right through  
wwith SCIENCE of course  
though it dont help noww  
cos vvris wwent and killed you  
but wwhen she pushed you off that cliff  
you shoulda died then too

yOU CAN'T SAY THAT,,,  
tHAT'S JUST, uNFAIR,  
i KNOW I CAN'T FLY THROUGH THE AIR,  
nOT LIKE PUPA,  
wHO I WISHED I COULD, A,  
bEEN IN THAT MOMENT,  
dURING MY DESCENT,  
yET, tHEN, i DID NOT DIE,  
i STILL DON'T KNOW WHY,  
bUT, iRREGARDLESSLY, i DID SURVIVE,  
wHICH MEANS i DESERVED, tHEN, TO BE ALIVE,  
uNLIKE YOU, wHO IS AWFUL IN EVERY WAY,,,  
iN THE THINGS YOU DO, aND THE THINGS YOU SAY,,  
yOU KILLED YOUR EX AND YOUR FRIEND,  
tHAT'S NOT COOL, bRO,,,,  
aND NOW OUR SPECIES WILL END,  
cOS YOU SHOT THE MATRI-O,  
yOU SAY YOU'RE THE PRINCE,  
bUT I AIN'T SEEN SUCH LAME SINCE,,,,,  
tHE,, uH,,, oTHER LAME THING,  
hOW CAN I CONVINCE,,,  
(aND, uHHH, nOT LAME AS IN, nOT BEING ABLE TO WALK,,,)  
(lIKE I USED TO BE,)  
(bUT, tHAT'S NOT RELEVANT,)  
(i SHOULD GET bACK TO, KICKING YOUR ASS, hAHAHA, yESSSS,,,)  
dUDE, THAT CAPE YOU WEAR,  
iT'S NOT EVEN FOR GOD TIER,,,  
(wOW, tHAT WAS A BAD RHYME,,,)  
(iT WAS A SICK BURN THOUGH,,,)  
iT MAKES ME SHED A TEAR,  
hAHA,,,  
tHOSE RINGS ON YOUR HANDS,  
aRE THEY GOLD, oR PLASTIC,,,  
tHEY DON'T MAKE YOU LOOK COOL,  
tHEY MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A DICK,  
pURPLE STRIPED TROUSERS,  
wHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE,,,  
yOU'RE ALMOST AS BAD AS YOUR TASTE IN CLOTHES,  
aND THOSE DUMB HIPSTER GLASSES ARE EVEN MORE LAME,,,  
sO YOU SHOULD BE FEELING ALL THE SHAME,  
aLL oF IT,  
sO JUST FACE IT,  
yOU'RE MADE OF SHIT,  
yOU'D BETTER QUIT,  
aS I KNOCK YOU DOWN AND MY SELF-ESTEEM FLIES,  
sOMEONE SHOULD CUT YOU DOWN TO SIZE,,,,,,

wwhat  
is that kan behind you

fUCK YEAH,

thats not fair  
its me vvs you tavvros  
kan shouldnt be  
...  
is that a chainsaww

bETTER RUN,,,,,

WHO WON?  
WHO'S NEXT?


End file.
